Goal-setting sounds simple. The client tells you what they want.
TL;DR
- Clients often present surface goals that mask what they actually want to change.
- SMART goals are useful in specific contexts, but they are not a universal tool.
- Co-creating goals with clients produces better commitment than extracting them.
- Goals should be reviewed mid-program: some need to be held, some need to be revised.
- Clients who resist specific goals are usually experiencing fear, not expressing preference.
Goal-setting sounds simple. The client tells you what they want. You help them get it.
Except it is rarely that clean.
Most clients arrive with a presenting goal that is at least partially a proxy for something else. The executive who says she wants better time management actually wants to stop feeling like she is failing at everything. The entrepreneur who wants a clearer business strategy is actually afraid the business will not work. The person who wants to improve communication with their spouse has a harder conversation waiting underneath.
Working only at the level of the presenting goal means you might hit the stated target and miss the real one. The client gets the promotion and still feels stuck. The business strategy gets clearer and the fear stays. Your goal-setting approach determines whether you reach the thing that actually matters.
Three Levels of Goals
It helps to think about goals in three layers.
Presenting goals are what clients say when you ask what they want to work on. These are real, and they deserve attention. But they are often the safest version of what the client is hoping for.
Real goals are what the client actually wants. Sometimes they know and are testing whether it is safe to say it. Sometimes they do not know yet because they have not been asked the right questions. The real goal usually involves a relationship, an identity, or a situation they have been avoiding.
Identity-level goals are the deepest layer. Not "I want to communicate better" but "I want to be someone who does not shut down when there is conflict." Not "I want to grow my business" but "I want to believe I am capable of this." Identity-level goals are where lasting change happens. Coaching that only works at the level of behavior, without touching who the client believes themselves to be, tends to produce temporary results.
Your goal-setting process should create space for all three levels to surface. Not by forcing a psychological excavation in session one. By asking questions that go a layer deeper and staying curious when the client's answer reveals more than the words suggest.
SMART Goals in Coaching: The Right Tool in the Right Context
SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) are useful. They are not universally applicable.
They work well when:
- The goal is behavioral or skill-based (presenting to senior stakeholders without freezing up, completing one job application per week)
- The client is in an action phase and needs accountability structure
- You are tracking progress toward a concrete milestone
They fall short when:
- The goal is identity-level or relational (learning to trust yourself, improving a marriage)
- The client does not know what "done" looks like yet
- Specificity and measurement would reduce the goal to something smaller than what the client actually needs
Applying SMART to "I want to feel more confident" produces goals like "I will give one presentation per month." That is not wrong. But it treats confidence as a behavior when it is actually a relationship the client has with themselves. SMART can give you the action steps, but it cannot hold the real goal.
Use SMART when you need operational clarity on a goal the client already understands. Do not use it as a way to make ambiguous goals feel resolved. Ambiguity is often information.
Three Frameworks Worth Using
1. SMART (Adapted for Coaching)
The standard version, with one adjustment: add a fifth question after you have built the SMART goal. Ask: "If you hit this goal exactly, will you feel like you got what you came for?"
That question catches the gap between the SMART goal and the real goal. If the answer is "not quite," keep going. If the answer is "yes," you have the right target.
2. Outcome-Based Visualization
Ask the client to describe, in specific detail, what their life or work looks like when the program has succeeded. Not what they will have done. What is actually true, present tense, in that future.
"Walk me through a typical Tuesday three months from now. What is happening?"
This approach surfaces goals that the client could not have articulated with a direct question. People know their desired life more viscerally than they can describe it analytically. Visualization creates access to that knowledge.
The goal you extract from this conversation will often be more meaningful, and harder, than what the client stated up front. Sit with that. It is usually the real work.
3. Working Backwards From the Future
Start at the endpoint and work backward to the present. This is especially useful for clients with big, complex goals that feel overwhelming.
"Imagine it is [end of program date] and the program went exactly as you hoped. What is true that was not true before?"
Then: "What had to happen in the final month to get there?"
Then: "What had to happen in the middle of the program to set that up?"
Then: "What needs to happen in the first few weeks to make all of that possible?"
This sequence maps the whole journey backward and surfaces the real first step, which is usually more specific and actionable than what the client would have named directly. It also shows clients that their big goal is achievable in sequence, which reduces the anxiety that makes people set vague goals in the first place.
Co-Creating Goals, Not Extracting Them
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The word "extract" is a problem. It positions you as someone pulling information out of a reluctant client. Goal-setting done that way produces goals the client describes accurately but does not own.
Ownership matters. Goals the client helped shape are goals the client will work for. Goals handed to them (by a coach, a boss, a program template) are goals they will politely report on and subtly resist.
Co-creation means the coach brings questions and structure. The client brings knowing. You build the goal together in the conversation, not before it.
A few questions that surface genuine goals rather than socially acceptable answers:
- "What would you be embarrassed to want from this program?" (This gets to the real aspiration faster than almost anything else.)
- "If no one would judge you for the goal, what would it be?"
- "What have you already tried? What did you learn from that?"
- "What would have to stay the same for you to stay comfortable?" (This surfaces avoidance.)
- "What does success feel like, not look like?"
Take notes in real time, not after. The specific words a client uses to describe their goal matter. Reflecting those words back later, rather than your paraphrase, deepens trust.
For how goal-setting fits into the broader first session, see how to run a coaching session.
Goal-Setting in the First Session vs. Goal Refinement Through the Program
The first session goal is a working hypothesis. You need it to get started, but you should hold it lightly.
Some coaches spend too much time in session one trying to nail down a perfect goal. Better to get a good-enough goal and stay alert to how it evolves as the program progresses. The real goal often does not emerge until the third or fourth session, once the client feels safe enough to say what they actually want.
Build in a formal goal-review moment around the midpoint of your program. Ask: "We set out to work on X. Does that still feel like the right target? Has anything shifted in how you understand what you are really working toward?"
This is one of the most valuable conversations you can have. It signals that the coaching is responsive, not mechanical. It prevents programs from drifting toward a goal the client has already outgrown or realized was the wrong one.
The complete client onboarding system includes a goal-setting structure that works from day one. See the complete client onboarding system for coaches for how to build the framework before your first session.
When Clients Resist Setting Specific Goals
Some clients really push back on being pinned down. "I just want to explore." "I am not sure what I want." "I will know it when I see it."
Sometimes this is genuine: a person in genuine uncertainty about what they want from their life is not being evasive. They are accurately reporting their situation.
But more often, resistance to specific goals is fear in disguise. Specific goals are specific enough to fail. A vague goal cannot really disappoint you.
The way to work with this is not to insist on specificity. It is to address the fear directly.
"What is the risk of naming a specific goal?"
"What happens if you commit to something and it does not work out?"
"What would it mean about you if you said you wanted X and did not get there?"
Those questions usually surface the belief underneath the resistance. And that belief, once named, often becomes one of the first real things you work on.
Letting a client stay vague because they are uncomfortable is a form of collusion. It protects them from discomfort and guarantees a less useful program. Your job is to create enough safety that naming the real goal feels possible.
Reviewing and Evolving Goals Mid-Program
Goals change. A client who started the program wanting to get a promotion might realize, four sessions in, that what they really want is to leave the company. A client working on their marriage might realize the relationship is already over. A client building a business might discover that the business they are building is not actually what they want.
This is not failure. It is the program working. Coaching creates clarity. Clarity sometimes changes what the client is working toward.
When goals shift, do three things:
Name the shift explicitly. "It sounds like what you are really working toward now is different from where we started. Let us talk about that."
Assess whether the program structure still fits. If the goal has changed substantially, the phases, milestones, and session focus may need to adjust. See how to design a coaching program for how to think about restructuring mid-program.
Update your tracking. If you are tracking client progress against goals (and you should be), the metrics need to reflect the real goal, not the original one. Tracking progress toward the wrong target is a waste of both of your time. For a system that handles this well, see how to track coaching client progress.
One Thing Most Coaches Miss
Goal-setting is not just an administrative task at the start of a program. It is a coaching intervention in its own right.
The quality of questions you ask in goal-setting sets the tone for everything that follows. A client who experienced deep listening, real challenge, and genuine curiosity in the first session knows they are in real coaching. A client who filled out a goal form and answered a few standard questions knows they are in a process.
The frameworks matter. But the quality of attention you bring to the conversation matters more.
That is true at the start. It is true at every mid-program review. And it is true in the last session, when you ask the client to articulate what they actually got.
Goals are the spine of the program. Make them real.
